The Poor Student's Fashion Guide To Fabulousness (Particularly If You Live In Wales)

So after a brief stint as the marketing manager for a string of fashionable European high-street brands, I now find myself, 3 months later, managing my sh*t student's budget looking for clothes to wear in this freezing European weather. Well, SORT OF European weather -- because I now live in WALES.

Yes, I am officially unemployed!! And struggling to make ends meet from broken boot soles and jeans ripping at the seams to peeling leather jackets. Actually, I am exaggerating-- I don't own a leather jacket. The only jacket I own that sort of looks like leather is actually made of some kind of cheap vinyl, but if people think that this 20 dollar jacket I have on at the moment is real leather than f*** yeah!!!

People (two classmates) have repeatedly asked me, "Awkward Fashionada, how do you keep looking so awesome everyday despite the fact that I have seen that same sweater on you two days in a row?" Well, my dear friends, let me tell you. I have prepared, with much thought and insight, a guide to looking fabulous despite having zero money and some kind of retardation that incapacitates you from looking chic in any way whatsoever.

RULE #1: IMPROVISE.

3 pounds is not a lot of money in Wales. That translates into approximately any of the following life choices: a.) less than a third of the cost of the sight-seeing bus that takes you around Cardiff city on a boring day, b.) a pint of beer, with a few pence left over for a bag of chips provided you bum an additional 10 pence or so from your best mate, or, c.) a quarter pounder from McDonald's. Now with such hefty options as the ones I presented, you'd be hard-pressed to choose from the overwhelming array of possibilities.

So let's make it simple - with 3 pounds, you can actually buy stuff you can use REPEATEDLY, which, in emergency situations, just might alleviate a potential fashion disaster.

With this in mind - proceed to your nearest grocery, hardware store, best friend's closet, or dad's toolbox for the following FASHIONABLE diy accessories!

Case in point: safety pins. 

Safety pins have always been associated with fashion. Think: loose pants, buttonless blouses, and babies' cloth diapers - safety pins have always been associated with tying up the loose ends of unraveling wardrobe malfunctions. But the humble pin has more to add to its fashion repertoire than keeping a woman's bottom from peeking out of her skirt.

Here are a couple of ideas in the name of safety pin fashion. Most of them are completely incomprehensible, stupid, and ridiculous, but hey, you get what you pay for.

Case in point 2: aluminum foil.

Aluminum foil is an amazing invention. Something I once associated with left overs and take outs from Chinese restaurants now officially has fashion stamped on it!! You can bend it, twist it, and fold it into all sorts of amazing accessories - from necklaces, helmets, and yes, even thongs!!

Case in point 3: electric cord.

'Nuff Said.

RULE #2: COMPENSATE.

Here's the situation - you wake up one morning and realize that the only clean sweater and denim pants you have with you are the ones you fell asleep in. OMFG, Lord. What to do now? Well, the answer is simple. Compensate.

With fabric freshener (preferably perfume) in hand, proceed to spray yourself over with Linen Fresh Summer Breeze or Antibacterial Citrus and Lemon. Not only will you smell divine - you'll kill a few germs in the process too! 

Worried that you might smell like fabric freshener? Three Marlboro cigarettes will definitely do the trick to even out the odors and make you feel as hardcore as the Marlboro man. With cigarette between lips, don't forget to smooth out the wrinkled edges of your clothes by tucking in your pants tightly into your broken-soled boots, and rolling up your sleeves at bicep level to give you that "I don't give a shit about looking like shit today" vibe.

This may not work for everyone. Actually, it shouldn't be done by anyone. But, sometimes you can't have everything in life. C'est la vie.

RULE #3: FLAUNT YOUR ASS(ETS)

So you're tired of wearing the same black sweater everyday, and just realized that you packed five other sweaters of the same color to make laundry days a breeze. Before you kick yourself in the butt for being such a stupid head, stop and consider your derriere. Is it nice? Is it round? Is it attractive? If you have a tight pair of pants that emphasizes the gorgeous contours of your behind, then there might be some hope yet!! 

Hair ferociously trussled and sexed up after a sleepless night on a lumpy mattress? WIN. Breasts swollen and ready to burst with the pain of an impending menstrual cycle? EPIC WIN.

Completely simple, but amazingly effective - a strategy you can use anytime, anywhere.

RULE #4: STARVE.

When all else fails and you think you might throw up from seeing yourself in the same black sweater day in and day out, the next best thing to do is, well... Starve. 

First of all, and logically speaking - if you starve yourself, then you can't actually throw up. Second, starving yourself is a fashion prerogative, something genetically ingrained in every female brain since the day Eve stole an apple from God's tree. Why an apple and not a plate of juicy bacon, we'll never know. 

All girls will say stuff like "Ohhh I would NEVER starve myself, that's horrible, that's anorexia!" or whatever, but the truth is that starvation is part of every girl's subconscious armoury of fashion quick-fixes. It's quick, it's cheap - heck we don't even know we're doing it!

Think about it. What do girls do when we put on weight? We say sh*t like we'll go on a diet, exercise more, get liposuction, or whatever. But at the end of the day, the truth is: we're too tired. We're sooo stressed. We don't have enough money -- so hmmm I think I'll treat myself to a well-deserved tub of ice cream. And then the next day after we realize that we just pigged out on a thousand calories of frozen lard, we compensate (see #2) and starve ourselves.

It's an unending cycle.

Third, finally, and most importantly: starvation = less money for food, more money for fashion. When you realize that 3 pounds for a quarter pounder from McDonald's will actually get you a nice bright blue sweater (instead of a black one) from Primark, then you know that happier (and thinner) days are at hand.

So congratulations, because with these tips at hand you've just mastered the art of being a poor (but semi-fashionable) student!!

Cheers, mate!

How To Become an Effective Marketing Manager - Shortcuts to Survival and Self-Preservation

Over the past few months, I have developed a number of foolhardy techniques and bad but EFFECTIVE habits at positioning myself as a semi-effective marketing manager.

These techniques will help you survive the onslaught of inevitable confrontations with your dissatisfied boss, angry co-workers, or an irritated customer who has to deal with your ignorance of cup sizes and available stocks of panties in the back room. You aren't a saleslady or a pencil-pushing coordinator, for Chrissakes, you are a Marketing Manager! CAPITALIZATIONS are necessary here!

1.) Learn the art of Wabi Sabi - "Do Without Doing."

One of my recent realizations about life is that things are essentially simple and uncomplicated, but that people just like to f**k things up. In my readings about Zen and Taoism, I have gathered that an intricate philosophy lies at the center of all things -- a gravitational force that human beings, because of want and desire for material and inconsequential distractions, continuously resist; causing friction, frustration, and unrest in life.

It is called Wei Wu Wei - the English translation of which is somewhat understood as "Do Without Doing." In our quest for material wealth and success (that huge salary, that MARKETING MANAGER title on your desk), we tend to forget that things follow Tao - the flow of the universe - and that events happen because they are meant to happen and that no amount of regret, justification, or defensiveness will change what was meant to be.

This applies to marketing as follows: Let go and let things flow.

If your brand manager is upset because you didn't follow an event perspective according to plan (although you really, really, thought you were following the plan... But it turns out that your glasses were foggy at the time, and where you thought the registration table was supposed to be was actually an ink smudge ) - let go and let things flow.

If your boss isn't approving your projects or signing your proposals because they just don't meet her expectations - although God knows you've prayed for discernment about what these are supposed to be and are now considering the help of Satan to get you through the workweek - let go and let things flow.

If your supplier yells at you because it's been 3 weeks since an event and they haven't received the payment for balloons yet but it was out of your hands because your boss was out of the country and couldn't sign the check - let go and let things flow.


2.) Things will go wrong, so although you're pissed off as f**ck, smile when things do go wrong. :)

In the world of marketing, there are a few things that will never change:

Plans change all the time - They say that change is a good thing - but in marketing, nothing could be further from the truth. Change is the enemy. When you've just closed a deal that took a month of intense negotiation and suppressed bouts of cardiac arrest; and then suddenly have to cancel it due to the lack of budget or because something else came up that was somehow more important than something that took a month's worth of your time and energy at negotiation to achieve - that's when you know that change is a bad thing and that the world is an uncompromising suck hole that cares for no one.

It's all about the bottom line - No matter how exciting, unique, different, and promising a creative marketing idea is, the unavoidably cruel fact of life is that if that idea isn't going to give your company an ROI of at least 500%, you can say goodbye to all the telephone calls made to suppliers, sleepless nights trying to piece a proposal together, and time spent gushing about how awesome you think it would be to finally get your boss' signature on the cost estimate; and say hello to another stint at the drawing board and prepare yourself for another inevitable rejection... Welcome to marketing!

Don't expect a pat on the back for a job well done - After presenting that awesome marketing proposal to your boss/immediate supervisor; or even after effectively implementing an activity that just cost you a portion of your mental health and emotional well-being, always anticipate the following, oftentimes haunting, remark:

"What's next?"

Although you can gauge the success of a marketing activity based on your feelings of awkward pride (i.e. having been featured in the events section of a leading newspaper, or in meeting the creme-de-la-creme of society after a "successful" store opening that somehow made you more enemies than you could have imagined possible) all your efforts, although sufficient, will have been in vain.

The fact of the matter is, it's never about the amazing thing you just did that people want to know about - it's always about what's next after what's next after what's next ad infinitum and so on...  And when you're done with "what's next," it's usually "is that it?" and "yeah okay, but what comes after that?"

And so on.

3.) Always be prepared with an answer.

As a marketing person, you will have to deal with a lot of inquisition about the statistics, financials, and cost-effectiveness of your plans: in short, every little freaking detail imaginable. So be prepared, at all times, with a handy reply to wipe your ass clean with.

Here are a few generic suggestions:

"I'll get back to you."
"Let me think about that."
"I didn't get your email/text/fax/what you said."
"My laptop/cellphone/iPad/iPhone was at the shop."
"Good idea, boss!"

Feel free to improvise and play around with all the statements I just cited above. Here's an example:

"(1)Let me think about that  and (2)I'll get back to you. (3)I didn't get your email yesterday because (4)my phone was at the shop - but (5)that's a really awesome idea, boss!"

Notice how I changed "good idea" to "really awesome idea."

Lastly,

4.) Roll with the bullshit.

If you don't make it, it's your own damn "vault." That's a bitch slap of truth right there.
~ Dr. Rick Marshall, author of "Matt Lauer Can Suck It."

My view of marketing is the perfect explication of Ockham's Razor - a law of parsimony stating that a hypothesis which makes fewer assumptions usually creates the best results. (Please refer to point #1: Learn the Art of Wabi Sabi - "Do without Doing.")

I'm a simple, albeit eccentric, person - and hence all my marketing decisions are simultaneously simple and eccentric. As long as a marketing project satisfies two points - 1.) cost-effectiveness and 2.) brand/product exposure - then we don't need to talk. Just shut up and send me a contract, and I'll sign it. I don't care if our French bras are partnered with a washing machine brand. If the cost is good - a.k.a. nothing - in exchange for our brand logo on 5,000 copies of washing machine journals which 5,000 people will see, then I'm fine with it!! 

French bras + washing machines = reasons why the world doesn't understand me.

Marketing isn't an exact science. Although companies expect your profit and loss plans fixed and in order - your expected costs and returns laid out in clear terms and conditions -  the fact is that no amount of forecasting, prediction, or planning, will ever substantiate your results. No tangible evidence will ever prove how a print ad in that last March summer edition of Preview gave you incremental sales of 20% in that same month. Even IF it was correlative, did someone ever consider that last March was a particularly hot month for staying at home and that all the tenants/stores within that particular mall had sales increases due to the higher foot traffic of bored shoppers? You see, it's all about how you look at facts - the numbers, statistics, financials - and how you tweak those facts into valid arguments.

In short, it's all about the bullshit. Marketing is 99% creative, energetic, time-wasting bullshit; 1% integrity. So learn how to roll with the bullshit, and become a ninja bullshit master: feel it, smell it, taste it, until you know every inescapable spongy nook and moist cranny. Learn the ways of bullshitting until it becomes you - each word, each letter, smoothly slipping out of your mouth like crystal-clear spring dew.

Of course, the only thing you'll probably have to compromise here is 1% integrity - a very small thing comprised of your dignity, moral values, possibly your soul... But then again, nothing in life ever comes easy.

So these are my tips at becoming a semi-effective marketing manager. With luck - and possibly, Satan - on your side, who knows? You may rise to greater heights as the VP for a prestigious multinational corporation dealing in biochemical treatments for fat reduction; moving on, perhaps, to become the president and CEO of a global Geriatric cybersex service for the erectile challenged; etc...

In short, another Hitler, but with a lot more "chutzpah" and"pizzazz."
  

Budget-Saving Tips for the Budding Fashion-nada

Okay, so let's say that after a few odd marketing jobs, you find yourself currently and mysteriously working as the marketing manager for a chain of relatively high profile fashion brands. You also hate spending money on anything and have zero tolerance for keeping up with the latest trends, dressing up like a frilly frou frou, and all that superficial cr*p.

One day, after a tiring afternoon of smiling like a retarded baboon in the face of your frustrated boss, irked suppliers, and irritated co-workers, you realize that the last thing you want to do is go out on a date with your Joaquin Phoenix incarnate of a boyfriend looking like a transvestite hobo.

In short, if you're like ME, then this article is for you!

BUDGET-SAVING TIPS FOR THE BUDDING FASHION-NADA

1.) Department stores are KEY.

Worried that your corpse-like complexion, distinct aroma, and ratty hair will get in the way of a night of potential excitement, i.e. holding hands for more than 5 seconds ? Then head on to the nearest Watson's or SM Department Store for a quick beauty fix with a LOT of options to choose from!!

For some strange reason, department store sales ladies will always be excited to spray you with the latest fragrance from Armani or paint you over with swabs of Maybelline and Revlon. You ACTUALLY don't have to do the work! So sit back, relax, and let the experts fuss over you with bronzers, blushes, eyeliners, and mascaras...... And then quietly thank them for their time. Sorry ladies - you don't have any money right now, but it was really nice of them to show you their wares.

On your way out, don't forget to grab a couple of those thin paper strips with perfume sprayed on them - that way you can retouch yourself when the perfume wears off.

2.) When in doubt, use your fingers.

Your fingers are valuable tools you can use anywhere and everywhere - squeeze your cheeks 'til blood vessels break, pinch your lips swollen until it looks as if you've eaten too many jalapenos. Fingers act as temporary combs, bendable hair rollers, imperfectly dulled tweezers - and in the absence of gel, smooth out stray hairs when wet (use water, don't rely on hand sweat).

3.) Office supplies are BEAUTY supplies!

Uh Oh - don't look at yourself now, but your caterpillar eyebrows are starting to grow out! A cutter blade or a pair of scissors should do the trick and nip stray hairs in the bud. Eyebrows misshapen or eyelids lacking definition? Non-toxic, water soluble, fine-tipped markers work just fine (I haven't tried it though - so reply to this post with your firsthand experience!) False eyelashes getting you down? Elmer's glue stick and a couple of hairs cut from your own head are the ANSWER.

4.) When all else fails, Project, Project, PROJECT.

What do RuPaul and Nikki Minaj both have in common apart from the fact that they both look like tranny twins? ANSWER: They both PROJECT TRANNY-NESS

Think about it: cut out RuPaul's silicone breast implants, trash the wig, and mop up all the layers of make-up - and all you have is a skinny Hispanic janitor guy who kinda looks like 50cent.

So, remember. The secret in life lies in one thing:

It's all about the "PROJECT." Is your fake Gucci/LV/Longchamp bag a class A rip-off from the stalls of a local bargain basement? Project. Worried that people might think your made-up eyes and tranny lips are a HACK instead of MAC? Project. Love handles and butt flab sticking out of your designer skinny jeans despite all attempts at self-induced gastroenteritis and cheap, one-time sessions at lipocavitation? Project.

Although you might encounter a few itchy bumps on your eyelids from using sharpies as eyeliners; megalomania from all that time spent looking at yourself in a mirror; or painful arthritis after years of wearing badly made 6-inch stiletto Jimmy Choos from China, who cares?

That's fashion.

You Don't Need an iPhad: 5 Trends that are Overrated and Dumb, According to my Boyfriend

Although I do have an inactive Twitter account, and a kick-ass brand new Samsung Galaxy Note I use for making calls and scribbling random drawings on, I am both amused and totally in agreement with my boyfriend's social commentary about contemporary trends, gadgets, technology, and life in general.

Listing to the radio one day in the car...
DJ: So anyway, my iDump totally started to hang and I couldn't download all my files...
Boyfriend: What's an iDump?
Me (Because I Understand Techie Things): It's something... you use to save files from your computer to your iPhone or iTouch,
Boyfriend: In my day, we used to call it a "folder."

My boyfriend has never owned a digital camera, hates having his picture taken, and has pledged eternal scorn towards Twitter and Facebook.

Because I have a huge brain that can't stop overthinking, I once told him that cyber identities are becoming more real than actual people. And that if you don't have a cyber identity, you no longer exist in contemporary society, where human interactions thrive on technology and digital media.

All he said was that he couldn't understand a word I said because he was tired.

  
Philosophical quotations from my guru boyfriend:
 
1. Twitter, Facebook, and All Social Networking Platforms.
 "I don't need to know about what you ate for breakfast."

2. Apple Everything: iPad, iPhone, iTouch.
 "Vanity."
 "We're all going to hell."
 "You need a cellphone for one thing and one thing only: making calls. Everything else is sh*t."

3. 14 megapixel cameras.
 "I have a camera I carry around with me 24/7.. It's called my memory."
 "What's with this in thing about people taking pictures of food and uploading it on Facebook?"

4. Partying at all the latest clubs, etc.
"I'd rather lie down, watch TV, and eat a quarter pounder."

5. Project Runway, Gossip Girl, and Being a Fashionista in General.
"Gay."

Nice.

Self-Deprecation and You: Because Being a Bitch is Boring and Passe.

One interesting aspect about working in fashion is being exposed to a particular "personality"-based life form: the incredibly annoying, extremely overbearing, pedigreed female canine - also known as a Class A Bitch. Unlike other creatures who survive on more important things in life such as oxygen to breathe and food to break down into energy; the inherent survival mechanism of any certifiable Bitch is somehow based on one thing and one thing only: Being a First-Class Bitch.

Like a scientist in a laboratory I have observed that Bitches are somehow drawn to backstabbing, gossiping, whining, and being impolite in general the way that monkeys get into the habit of picking fleas off each other. There's something oddly comforting about a routine that keeps you preoccupied.

The classic defense mechanism of the average nice person confronted with such an abhorrent life form is silence combined with seething aggression. But let me suggest an alternative strategy which, like the Tao of the universe, will let you sit back and relax as your enemies writhe in awkwardness, or like the diseased monkeys that they are, scratch their heads in confusion.

When a Class A Bitch insults your intelligence, don't lose your integrity and combat her insult with aggression: combat it with good ole unpretentious Self-Deprecation instead.

Sample Scenarios:

Bitch: "Your marketing ideas are overused, generic, and boring."
You: "Okay. :)"

Bitch: "I see that thrift fashion is making a comeback."
You: "Cool. :)"

Bitch: "Why does your hair look like a used mop?"
You: "Thanks for noticing. :)" 

Bitch: "Your marketing directions are vague and disorganized."
You: "Thanks for the comment. :)"

Bitch: (raises an eyebrow)
You: (smile, and then flip her the bird)

The thing about being a Bitch is that it's easy, mindless, and in short, pathetic.

As Sun Tzu said, "Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate.... Crushing their skulls under your heels and ripping their hearts out of their eyesockets."


Rock on.

Bad Fashion Advice: Perfecting that Just-Rolled-Out-of-Bed Look

After a night of watching too many Simpsons re-runs, you realize that the alarm is ringing. It's 6 AM and you have a meeting with the big fashion boss in less than 30 minutes. I'm sure that the big question on your mind is " *OHMYF()#@&^GOD What The Hell Do I Wear???"

Here are some good tips you can use to perfect that edgy, rough, and raw,"just got out of bed look" - the natural way!

FAWKED-UP TIP # 1: Hair

If you're like me, your hair is naturally wavy due to a tendency to forego the use of time-consuming implements such as brush or comb. This actually gives you an advantage as most people will perceive your curly locks as enviable, a.k.a naturally styled. What they do not know is that the act of tossing and turning in the night after a bath usually dries wet hair in such a way that the mattress acts like a press iron, giving you unintentionally wavy, styled hair. Use this to your advantage by NOT GIVING IN TO ANY KIND OF CRITICISM ABOUT YOUR HAIR WHATSOEVER. 

There's a trick to this: it's called "Keri" (Filipino gayspeak for "carry"; i.e. trying out a horrible fad that somehow works for you.. score!). If people think your hair looks funny, laugh with them and tell them how they also looked soooo hilarious that other day when they paired hot pink pants with a see-through leopard-print top.

FAWKED-UP TIP # 2: Make-Up

I have 3 basic cosmetic supplies that I swear by: a tub of Vaseline, Johnson & Johnsons baby powder, and a stick of drugstore-bought lipstick in a dark rose or berry shade. You have 2 options.

OPTION 1: After washing your face in the morning, lightly slather on a miniscule, pea-sized, amount of Vaseline across your face. Massage Vaseline into face until dry, or wipe dry with old towel. With your lipstick, draw single-stroke Indian war lines across both cheeks. With fingers or fist, create circular motions while massaging/smudging in the war lines until you recreate a healthy, rosy-cheeked glow (trick: follow your cheekbones). Gently pat on tiny shakes of J&J baby powder on your T-zone to matte any oiliness in the face brought about by using Vaseline as a facial moisturizer. Finally, using lipstick again, dot a few lines of color on your lips. Press and rub lips together. Voila.

It may sound tedious, but believe me - unless someone invents a "face" tattoo you can use every morning, this is peanuts.

OPTION 2: Wash face. Pinch cheeks and lips until capillaries break and hope nobody notices. When asked, feign lack of sleep, stress, impending illness, PMS - or all of the above.

FAWKED-UP TIP # 3: Clothes

If you're like me, you usually throw all clothes worn over the past few days all over your bedside chair, table, drawer, or quite simply, the floor.

Here's your answer: don't throw your clothes on the floor. Make sure to throw clothes on some kind of clean surface, such as a chair. You will find this useful, usually when Friday comes along and you find yourself too lazy to open drawers and cabinets, or in short, attempt to use your brain. 

So just throw on a pair of used black pants, a used black top, and black ballet flats. Black will always be chic.

Don't forget to douse yourself with long-lasting eau de parfum.I highly recommend Acqua Di Gioia by Georio Armani - mainly because I got it for Christmas.

FAWKED-UP TIP # 4: Other Tips That Might Come in Handy

• Well-stocked office supplies in your desk will serve you well. A trusty black sharpie will always color any scratches, tears, or peeled-off leatherette on cheap black shoes/bags/accessories in general.
• Don't forget to smoke a cigarette during long breaks and drink cups of strong black coffee. Slim cigarettes give you an air of sophistication and an "i don't need any bullshit from anyone today" vibe, while black coffee reinforces the vibe as fact. That way, everyone will know that you have legitimate reasons for not caring about something as superficially sh**ty and mundane as fashion. 

BAD BARBIE: DAMN IT! SOMEONE TOTALLY KILLED MY IDEA!

Apart from accidentally stabbing my bible with a kitchen knife when I was 15 in front of my horrified mother, one of the things I've always wanted to do but never got around to doing was creating a diorama out of old, broken, barbie dolls.

Unfortunately, Mariel Clayton killed that dream.

Kick ass!!

I'm not demented though, so it's not as if I actually envisioned chopped torsos and bloody Ken heads. But I did imagine Barbie strung up naked with threads and pins beside a masked Ken doll grasping a tiny branding fork, the ones ranchers use to brand their cows. S&M meets barnyard porn.

More Marie Clayton on http://www.thephotographymarielclayton.com/

Fashion + Me = Awkward!

I am not fashionable.

I am not one of those girls you see strutting around in high heels, laden with jewelry, mouths stuck to iPhads, designer swag practically tattooed every inch of their bodies, made-up like drag queens.

 I don't go clubbing, hang out with my awesome bitches, have 5,000 friends on Facebook I hardly know, Tweet about how I woke up this morning and ate too many carbs for breakfast, or whatever. That's not how I roll.

I'm fashionable like this. Unkempt, split-end ridden hair that defies every known professional salon and hair brush. Size 10 panties and cup A bras that don't fit my breasts at all, if the mosquito bites on my chest even qualify as breasts.

I listen to Heavy Metal, old 60s ballads, Johnny Cash. I have a penchant for thumbs-upping, collecting old cartoons, and reading human rights biographies. My idea of hanging out is eating a well done quarter pounder from McDonald's while watching old re-runs of Southpark and the Simpsons, ketchup spilled on the front of my shirt.

I probably spend my time looking like this:

Fashionista? More like fashion-NADA. But here I am - working in fashion retail marketing for a bunch of high-end European fashion brands, some whose names I can't pronounce. Ironically, I LOVE my job, I LOVE my company, and YES, I even LOVE the drama that comes with working in this industry!

Sooooooo. All I can really say is: fashion + me = AWKWARD.

Watch out, beetchezzz!